Self-confidence

Healthy Habits: Just say no! (to taking on too much)

This is the first blog in my new series: Healthy Habits!

I’m going to share all the ingredients I use to: maintain a healthy, fit body, feel fabulous, keeping up my amazing energy and run my household and business like a boss!

As a married mom of two small children (1&3), starting my own business and doing volunteer work as well, I have plenty of things going on.

And, I love helping other people out. But….there are only so many hours in a day, week, month do all the amazing things I want and need to do. Which means, to maintain balance in my life (and say sane) I have to say NO sometimes.

Many times it’s saying no to myself in taking on another hobby/activity/education/challenge, but sometimes it’s also saying no to someone else…which I personally find the most challenging.

Why? Because I could disappoint the other person, or let them down, or miss an opportunity. Even worse, maybe that person will decide they don’t want to be my friend or help me out in the future because I’m not willing to help out!

I was recently confronted with a situation in which, for the first time in a long time, I needed to say NO to someone else.

This is what happened…

I decided I was sick and tired of being tired all the time and went to an expert to finally do something about it.

The investment was for me, already hefty. An hour of travel time each way, plus 100+ euro intake fee. I expected I’d need to be seen again a couple of times (in my mind 1-2 times) and then, ta-daa, everything would be reset and I could go on my merry energizer way.

This was of course, the mistake I’ll warn you about in another blog (coming soon) about change…looking for that quick fix.

At the end of the intake session I hear that it can take up to 10 sessions to reset my body (the diagnosis is still unclear to me)…and a minimum of 4. Gulp….ok….

Then next day, I get additional information. Oh. My. Goodness. 11 different documents! In the intake session I was told I may need to make some slight changes, but that because I was already eating so well she didn’t think I’d need to do much…so my expectations were pretty low.

I was now faced with: multiple morning rituals and changes in eating habits, whole food groups that would be off limits & an entirely different way of eating as far as combining foods, plus an exercise prescription & more to come which she would explain next week.

It was a bit much.

Still…I talked to my husband about it, talked to a friend about it…struggled with the feeling that I was “giving up” on myself and the track before even trying….

And then I asked myself if this is something that would give energy, or take energy. I got tired just thinking about going into the track! Seeing I went in the first place to solve my issues with being tired, the situation seemed a bit counter-productive.

So I said NO.

And the moment I did this…I experienced an intense feeling of relief and relaxation. It was super clear to me that I had made the right decision for me at this moment in time!

Was this a difficult decision? For me, yes. Was it actually hard to do? No.

And the cool thing was…all those things I thought could be a result of saying no actually turned out not to be relevant in this case. The professional I was talking to understood my point of view, offered a different solution I hadn’t thought of, and was totally working with me. Wow! Very cool.

 

Most people commit too quickly!

What happens then?!?

-People back out after saying yes. “Sorry, I actually can’t.”

-They do it, but half-assed or resentfully. “I kinda felt like I HAD to say yes, so now I’ll do it even though I really don’t want to because otherwise it’ll look bad or I’ll let my friend/boss/partner down.”

-Massive amounts of stress. “Aghhhhh! I can’t believe I HAVE to do so many things right now.”

None of these situations are fun…

So what can you do?

-Take your time. Don’t say yes immediately!

-Ask yourself questions: What is being asked of me? Is it something I will enjoy? If I do this, will I have to give up something  to make room for it?

-Dare to say NO! (It will be OK)

 

What’s the most difficult thing you’ve wanted to say no to? And what happened? Share it here!

 

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